Taxes Might Get "High"er

Well, I hate to sound like a stereotypical "pothead" excessively advocating his political and philosophical rights in America, but an interesting bill has been proposed to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts aimed to legalize and tax Marijuana. 

Now, this may come as a surprise to many people that Massachusetts is now on "Crazy Hippy Liberal" level with such fierce competitors such as the state of California and our ultimate contender The Netherlands, but surprisingly Massachusetts is leading the way in America with very outspoken and somewhat revolutionary legal and political triumphs. This new bill proposed, which I will get into later, is just another example of the renegade lawmakers we have fighting for justice here in our fine state. I am proud to live in a time of rich political revolution in terms of social stances and thoughts. Put yet another notch in the belt for Massachusetts' rich history. 

Anyways, here is the link for the blog which formally introduced the bill :

http://blog.norml.org/2009/03/23/norml-breaking-news-marijuana-legalization-bills-introduced-in-massachusetts/

Obviously, the blog might be a bit biased in terms of media presence, seeing as it is a Marijuana advocacy group, but it clearly outlines the bills proposed and the information about it. 

How do I feel about this? Well, rather mixed, I guess. In short, I don't think it will pass, despite my passion for the underdog, especially when the underdog is a plant that makes you feel good when inhaled/eaten/put up your asshole. However, let me weigh some pros and cons in the political sense that may impact the outcome this proposed bill.

Why This Bill Might Pass:

1.)  Massachusetts has (as stated before)  achieved new political triumphs compared to other states in America.

-  The election of Governer Patrick Duval, the commonwealth's first black state governer. 

-  Last year, a bill passed and is now in effect to decriminalize Marijuana from a felony to Misdemeanor, extremely limiting the effects it has on your criminal record.

-  Gay Marriage, yet another heavily contested political dispute, has been legalized in Massachusetts, the first state in America to do so. 

2.) Marijuana prohibition is rapidly phasing out as more and more scientific research notes that there are minor, certainly not life threatening,  side effects from smoking/eating/sticking it up your ass.

3.) Social Stigmas are changing as our society develops, into a more liberal and fact oriented one. - We have an older generation, believe it or not, who were around when other revolutionary ideas were being proposed. They actually comprise a large amount of Massachusetts' residents percentage and bring with them an otherwise more liberal outlook than the rest of our nation. These people, as well as our younger and college generation (which Massachusetts is in abundance of) will heavily determine the outcome of the bill if it is actually passed to voters. 

4.) This bill means money for the state. Marijuana will be taxed (pretty high actually, no pun intended) which means that revenue for the state will most likely greatly increase. For those who didn't read the article posted above, there will be growing, selling, and transportation taxes associated with Marijuana. 

Why I Don't Think It Will Pass:

1.) Crazy bills like this are introduced all of the time, especially in our state of Massachusetts. Basically, we can have any Joe on the street propose and outline a bill in a suitable format and present it to our lawmakers for decisions. However, it is those lawmakers who inevitably decide which bills come to vote, let alone passing.

2.) The Federal Government might step in to intervene if this bill gets too "Out of Hand". 

- As we all know (hopefully) there is a local (state) government and a national (federal) government, somewhat seperated but all acting under the good of the United States. However, Federal government has precedence over the state, so they can override any decision if Congress sees fit. Seeing the legacy of the "War on Drugs" this might be a realistic scenario if the Federal government decides to act on it. 

3.) There is still a social stigma attached to Marijuana, even through more recent societal fact findings. 

- There are still to be more medical discoveries uncovered during use of Marijuana and the effects it has on your personality, society, and the environment you live in. Like it or not, Marijuana can easily be advocated as a gateway drug, and almost rightfully so: it usually introduces a person to the world of mind altering substances and, depending on the person, they may choose to get more involved with them. Ultimately, I feel, it depends on the intelligence of the person, which unfortunately is generally poor. Anecdotal evidence like the above will continue to fuel the prohibition of Marijuana. 

The bill has been proposed, it is now up to the lawmakers to decide what to do with it. It could be cast aside like a lot of others, I'm sure. However, if you are interested in seeing this pass, please write your representative, bringing to him the attention of this bill and your support/unsupport of it. I don't care what stance you take on the issue, we live in America and it's your own right to choose, so do whatever you feel is necessary regarding this bill. Information about writing to your representative is included in the above link, along with the whole outline of the bill. I encourage you to read more and get involved. 

Exclusive Offer

Free Market runs rampant throughout modern day America, where the everyday Joe can prosper if he has a money making idea and runs with it. Today, I am that Joe. 

As some may know, this blog has become more and more popular as the days wear on. In this day and age, ad revenue goes a long way in fueling a man's income, especially on the web. So far, I have abstained from doing so, for love of my readers and their viewing pleasure, but I know a good business deal when I see one, and that's what this blog entry is about. 

I am offering a lucky individual the chance to buy my blog. 

Not worth it, you say? Let me run a quick figure by you...

Boom, your mind has been blown. 

Thanks to the folks at http://www.websitevaluecalculator.com/ , I now have a very professional and accurate estimate as to the worth of my blog. 

But, the deal gets better: I am willing to part ways with this incredible investment of a blog for a mere 50 dollars! That's almost a 326% discount!

"Dan, what the fuck man, you're screwing yourself over here! Don't do this to yourself! You'll be in economic ruin, giving it away this cheap!", you're saying, before blowing your brains out with a gun because this deal is just too good to handle. 

No, this deal comes out of the kindness of my heart, and there is nothing better than seeing the look on someone's face when they buy their first blog. Ah, the innocence. 

Let's go over some of the excellent benefits you'll receive from buying my blog:

1.) Using your artistic and creative abilites to relay whatever thoughts you may have on whatever issue you like, having the world able to view it with a simple mouse click!

2.) Have a safe channel of venting or responsible coping with difficult issues that may present themselves by writing about it! Columbine would not have happened if that loser were given a blog instead of a gun!

3.) Social networking! The internet is a big and wild place, there are many people that may or may not share your idealogies, but there's only one way to find out! Blog and find other bloggers that you both can blog about blogging together! 

4.) You will get laid and be more attractive to the opposite sex! There is nothing more attractive to a person than knowing that they will put whatever nonsense that goes on in their head on the internet! I have been been laid 16 times because of this - Last night!

I could go on and on, I really could. But, I know I don't have to. You know how good of a deal this is, and I don't have to say anymore. All it takes is fifty bucks and it's yours, no questions asked, just a normal business transaction - except it's not because I'm knowingly ripping myself off here. You can either have the money paypaled to me, or cash in hand if you prefer. 

For contact information, please contact me on aim or through email. A fair warning though, this deal is going fast so respond immediately!

Sometimes I Am Serious, Sometimes Caring

I'd like to take a quick break from the juvenile and immature ramblings of my blog to say something on a more serious and sensitive subject. Alliteration, anyone?

As some may know, I have been performing my co-op (cooperative education, a glorified internship giving me school credit) at the software/hardware corporate giant EMC². Here, without going into excessive detail, I basically test our top-of-the-line software for bugs and quality, to ensure our customers recieve the best software they can get. 

Anyways, I had received an assignment from my project manager that I would also pick up another task and set of responsibilities. I would be coordinating with Israel and Bangalore, India to set up their lab environment here in Massachusetts for testing of software not yet out. This involves some tedious, yet fairly simple lab management, and to help me in my efforts I met a co-worker by the name of Erik. 

Erik helped me learn the material, as he had helped out in this project before hand and I was basically inheriting his work. So, we eventually got to talking, and became the status of "friendly co-workers". It was during this time that he also went into detail about his baby issues, namely having dealt with a pre and post natal condition entitled "Preeclampsia". 

It turns out he was affected by this disorder, and became very involved with the community  because of it. Seeing as he is tech-savvy, he decided to become even more involved by volunteering as their network admin/network coordinator. He also happened to mention that he was looking for a bit of help with the volunteer work, and specifically mentioned that I would be a suitable candidate. 

I've always wanted to help with charity or help other people (believe it or not)  with no tangible rewards, so I found this opportunity delightful. Here, I could help people suffering, researching, and helping others cope with this Preeclampsia condition using my tech background/skillset. Although the job will primarily comprise of very easy tasks, such as managing user accounts and simple email administration, we are preparing for a website migration. I will be looking through proposals sent to us from web site developers and do our best to select the most cost efficient and effective proposal we can. 

For just a little background information, Preeclampsia organization is a NON-PROFIT organization, depending entirely on donations made by grass-roots (individuals offering donations) or corporate donations. Using this budget we contribute to extensive funding for medical research and (hopefully) optimizing our site to spread the word about this medical condition. 

For further knowledge, not that you might be interested, please visit the website at  http://preeclampsia.org/ . There might be a chance that you may be affected by this in the future, or that you know somebody dealing with this. And please, feel free to donate!

Ok, that ends the serious talk. How funny would it be if that was one elaborate goatse? So you read all that and your heart was touched. You wanted to throw any money you can to aid these poor infants and families. You have your credit card in hand and you gather your family around to watch you contribute to a worthy cause - then BAM! Goatse all over your screen, scarring everyone's eyes. 

Yeah, I laughed. 

DONATE!

Too Premature to Party

Editor's note: I apologize to my hardcore fanbase (there are none) for my lack of updates. I am a busy man.

As of late, the weekends have been filled with parties.  Usually, they are either parties hosted by Northeastern students or found in the party neighborhoods of Allston, usually by BU students. Well, this past Saturday Al Wong and I decided to hit the town so we went to Allston. Little known to us, though, was that some kids we went to High School with were hosting a party and, after getting a call from Alex Mendez, we were on our way to this new adventure. 

However, let me stop right here for a quick second. (Is there such a thing as a quick second?) The following story is down right disgusting, offensive, and above all else, extremely hilarious. You have been warned. 

The truth is, this entry is not about the party we went to, but rather a kid that stumbled into this party and had, let's say, an accident. 

For a little backstory, we ended up showing to this party. It was decent, but it's not something I would write home about. This crowd was an assortment of punks, hipsters, but overrall cool people. So we ended up drinking, chilling, smoking, and catching up with a few people I recognized from Quincy High School. 

Fast forward some drinks later and Al, Ed, and I are chilling on the porch. We notice the rather flamboyount party across the street (there was a gay alliance flag waving proudly atop their porch) so Al decides that we should try that one out to see what is up. I oblige and we head over there. I light up a cigarette and let Al head in first, as he is clearly the most drunk. (A side note, he had a cup in which he mixed a 1/4 cup of vodka with a coors light; a stunning concoction that is sure to lead to getting acquainted with the toilet). Al stumbles up the steps before a crowd of onlookers that just watched him cross the street into their party.

"Hey, what's up - I just moved in...trying to see what's goin on in here."

He is recieved with a mixed welcome as I turn and see a police squad car pull up right next to this house. The cops get out and the people partying on the porch usher inside like cockroaches escaping the impending broom. The police walk by us and ask if we are 21, a question I can safely answer. The cops walk up the steps and start knocking on the door, shouting for the people inside to open up. They do not and it seems they are at a stalemate as Ed and I look on.

It was at this time that two gentlemen, presumabely our age, came down from the porch (before the police arrived) and approached us as we watched the spectacle with the cops. There was a kid in jeans and a black shirt with moppy hair, and a more preppier kid alongside him. 

"What the fuck is your problem, man" said moppy haired kid in dark. "We didn't want you guys showing up because of the fucking cops". 

They both looked intent on fighting so I started flexing my pecs a little bit, you know, to show them I'm down for brawling. 

The other, preppy looking kid spoke up: "I just wanted to say, man, that I fucking love you." Both Ed and I were taken aback at this seeming reversal of emotion. The preppy kid hugged Ed for a quick second. Ed, hiding his newfound boner, just smiled and said an awkward thanks.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the moppy haired kid drooling profusely with a glazed look in his eyes.

Ok, so let's do a quick recap. Al is now inside the house being semi-raided by cops while Ed and I are outside on a street with two fucked up, on what I don't know, kids. Ok, let's continue. 

"So, what's going on in that party you guys came from?", asks the preppy fellow. 

We explain that we don't really know as this was our first time coming to this particular house. They, against our efforts, decide to follow us back into the house. I already have a bad feeling about this. 

The moppy haired kid is caught in a brief skirmish on the porch with one of the party regulars. The "regular" tells the moppy kid to bounce, obviously seeing how messed up he is. I take this time to head inside (followed by the preppy kid, stealthly) and head back down to the basement where I inform Jesse that the cops are across the street and people should be a bit more careful as to not get busted. 

I end up chilling on the couch next to Alex for a few minutes before I see moppy kid stumble his way down the steps. I sigh, how did he get in here? 

He quickly becomes a scene, stumbling and rambling incoherently to any of the girls that will give him their ear. Eventually, he finds a larger woman, adorned with dreadlocks and other socially misfit piercings and makeup, that will humor him by listening to his nonsense and save everyone else from a rather uncomfortable time. 

I overhear some of the conversation that this pickup artist with moppy hair spews out of his mouth. 

"LISTEN TO ME - they're all part of the system"

"Blah blah socialist government blah blah"

All of these words are coming out of his still-drooling mouth as he sways to and fro, looking very unstable. Meanwhile, the woman he's talking to is pulling an acting job of convincing him that what he is saying is actually very charming and attractive. Noticing his obvious lack of dexterity, she helps him to sit down on the couch on the opposite end from I. 

My attention is diverted to a group of girls in front of me who are blowing insanely cool soap bubbles filled with smoke from a hookah. As the bubble floats to the ground, it bursts every so softly and smoke erupts from it, slowly emitting into the air. 

However, I hear giggling to my right and I turn to look. Lo and behold the drooling, moppy haired kid has sprung a BONER. He is sitting there talking to this woman, just talking, and apparently takes a liking to her (though I'm sure as messed up as he was, any woman, or even a femenine looking male would have surpassed his standards). 

I grimace, this is both humiliating and extremely hilarious. Could this get any funnier?

My question was quickly answered with a resounding "yes". 

I won't even try to sugar coat this part, HE HAD AN ORGASM IN HIS PANTS AND IT LEFT A STAIN THAT WAS EVENTUALLY CAPTURED BY A CAMERA PHONE ALL FROM TALKING TO SOME OVERWEIGHT GOTH-LOOKING CHICK HOLY SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS KID.

He just ejaculated in his pants. 

How do you even do this without even touching yourself? 

There was literally no contact.

I am at a loss for words. 

It was at this point that I called it a night. 

There is some good news in this. The first, is that the kid might have been rolling on about 500mg of ecstasy which would explain the drooling, incoherentness, and premature ejaculation in his pants, thus making it slightly less embarrassing. Actually, I wouldn't even call it premature ejaculation, because that assumes that the ejaculation is prior to implied intercourse. This is just ejaculation in his pants and forever humiliating. Another good thing is that it was apparently hilarious to everyone there and now everyone has  a story to tell about this kid. 

I will do my best to find the cell phone picture and, god willing, his name. 

 

Eventually I grew tired of the party and asked the friends to leave while bidding farewell to our fellow partiers (except for the two pump chump). 

The ride home was silent, everyone considering the event they had just witnessed. 

Oh, also, I forgot to mention that Al safely made his way back to the house. Apparently everyone snuck out the back in the house that was raided.